Hungry like the wolf???
My line badge (like an ID card on steroids–sure it looks cool, but it’s dumb and its purpose is utilitarian) seems to have mind of its own. If I don’t look out for it, and manage it like a 3-year-old at a grocery store, it’s liable to get itself, and me, by proxy, into all sorts of trouble. The most common problem I have with my line badge is that it’s always hungry. That’s right, it seems to always be craving food. I think that gravy is its favorite. I’m lucky that it’s more like a reptile than a mammal, in that it moves very little and can go for extended periods of time without eating. Gravy once a week seems to be its preference. Of course, it tends to bring traces of food “back home” and that ends up all over the front of my DCU jacket (OK, it’s really called a blouse, but real men wear jackets, not blouses, right?).
Additionally, my line badge tends to wander and get itself caught in places that are very uncomfortable. And no, I do not mean like in the back seat of a Volkswagen. (hahaha… a little Mallrats humor for ya!!) Allow me to share a little analogy, please, from my own experiences as a father. So there we were, browsing the local video store in a mall and as we walked out of the store and proceeded to the next credit card haven we heard my daughter Kelly (5 at the time) screaming and hollering bloody-murder. Alarmed, we (her mother and I) looked over and saw her struggling for all her 30-something pounds were worth, trying to pull her head out from between the railing bars. Poor kid. Luckily for her, it just took a calmer mind and a little lift to pull her free (the bars spread a little higher up). I’m always reminded of this little story of “getting stuck” whenever get of from my desk. Bee (that’s what I’m calling my badge now, since I’m getting tired of “its”) always likes to “hang out” under my desk, and as I get up to do whatever it is that forces me to vacate my seat Bee is likely to gets stuck somehow and cause me to nearly flip over as my head remains present-level and my body is rocketing toward the heavens. Ouch! Damn Bee!
Amazingly, that also reminds me of one of those “real life lessons” in safety that you read/hear about and say in your mind, That’s dumb. Why would that be a safety factor? Check it out… Last year I was coaching my son’s basketball team, and as a coach I was wearing my whistle and demonstrating techniques to my players. So, you know how sports players aren’t allowed to wear things around their necks that can “catch”? Well, as I was showing the boys how to dribble the ball during a mini-scrimmage, my hand got caught in the whistle’s rope, forced me to lose control of the ball, and as that same hand shot out to catch the ball as it was getting away from me, it stayed caught in the whistle’s rope and damn near yanked my head to the ground. My neck was sore for three days after that little debacle, but you bet I sure didn’t let anyone else know that I nearly decapitated myself. Yeah, I was saving that little morsel for now. 
Any-hoo, I hope you all enjoyed this strange little odyssey of tales. Tonight I’ll be working on photos, classwork, and getting new blog ideas ready to go… So, until next time… Watch out for your own version of Bee, keep your head up and… Cheers!
